Dissatisfaction as a Catalyst to Action
Contentment is good, up to a point
I’ve never been the type of make a fuss when things don’t go my way. For as long as I can recall, I’ve always greeted whatever life throws my way with an “Okay, this is what it is. No point swimming against the waves.” This even-keeled nature of mine has served me well thus far; life feels so much more direct and experiential when I intentionally remove the mental filter of “should nots” from my worldview.
This mental suffering that arises when we resist life has a name: dukkha. Buddhism has taught for thousands of years that life itself is perpetually tinged with some degree with dissatisfaction, whether physical, mental, or (oftentimes) both. If we’re all being honest with ourselves, I’m sure we would agree. For the most part, however, our dissatisfaction exists as more of a steady latent displeasure, as though we’re wearing socks that are the slightest bit too tight; not enough of a nuisance to change them, but certainly bothersome if we concentrate on the sensation.
In my own case, my dissatisfaction has evolved into outright discontentment. Ever since I got a taste of the Southern European lifestyle 10 years ago, I’ve always sought to get more and more of it. I’ve been so fortunate to be able to travel to countless countries all over the world, but something about the Mediterranean has awakened something deep in my soul. I can’t fully explain it, but when I’m there, I feel at peace. Life there is much slower. The rich history of the cities there is palpable. The architecture is so grand and magnificent. There are a bunch of smaller things that are important to me too: walkability (I do not like having a car), a good public transportation system, the fact that you can reach different so many unique countries/cultures/languages in a matter of hours, the natural scenery, the social programs/benefits, and so much more. The result is an insatiable desire to relocate there permanently.
Writing this as someone that grew up in the United States, I recognize that I am writing this from a position of privilege. But I am the son of two immigrants who left their country of origin in search of a better life. And you know what? It worked. I’ve been blessed with unfathomable opportunities here, and for that, I will always be grateful.
But it is time for me to move on.
The same way my parents took a good, hard look around them and realized that Mexico was not the environment they wanted for their future, I see the same thing here for myself. The United States is not the same place that it used to be, and I do not want to be here for the trajectory it's heading in. But beyond this, I just don’t feel a connection here culturally, and I can’t say I ever did. When I’m in Spain or Portugal or Italy, though, I feel a strong sense of ease, like that is where I am meant to be. Call me naive or delusional, but I know one thing: your gut doesn’t lie. I would rather live in the delusion that this place is not where I am supposed to be and expend my effort striving to make a change than to live in the delusion that this place is where I’m meant to spend the rest of my life and never leave.
Going back to my own dissatisfaction, it has become far too pervasive to ignore. What was once a passive wish to visit has become an inextinguishable urge to go back and stay. Ever since returning from Spain a week ago, all I can think about is returning. Starting the life that I yearn so much for. Having a modest apartment to call my own. Having the freedom and accessibility to explore my favorite area of the world. Making friends and meeting a woman. Feeling genuinely at home instead of just having a house that I live in.
Of course, I am aware that no place is perfect and that everywhere has its own issues and challenges. Still, the pros of Southern Europe far outweigh the cons, at least for me. I’ll trade the money and grind culture of America for the slower-paced life and humanities of Europe any day of the week.
But I’ve ranted for long enough. The message of this post is to share that there may come a certain point in life where stagnation becomes unbearable. This commonly manifests in a living situation, job, or relationship. In this event horizon of sorts, one has two options: remain on the path of familiarity yet forever live with a lingering unease, or follow their heart and plunge into the unknown. Sometimes you must reach a point where you have to be so shaken to your core that you say to yourself, “Enough. I don’t want this. Change is possible. There is much potential on the other side that I am going to do whatever it takes to make it happen.” You must become dissatisfied with dissatisfaction. This is the energy that guided immigrants throughout history. The same energy that forged artists and athletes. The same energy that birthed innovation in the minds of scientists. Dissatisfaction is the fertile soil from which authentic inner growth blossoms.
Do not misunderstand me; acceptance certainly has its place in life, and I would even argue that it should be the default. But don’t mistake acceptance for complacency or conformity. Call it intuition, conscience, gut, spirit, soul, whatever you’d like— but there is always a messenger telling you if you’re moving in the right direction. If something is beckoning you to change, there is but one life-changing question that you must ask yourself: Will you listen?
I need your help.
If you’ve made it this far, firstly: thank you for reading. I’ve experienced time and time again that doing this— writing, reflecting, capturing photos and editing them, speaking into a microphone, just being creative as a whole— is what brings me peace. It filters the outside world and helps my inner world make a little more sense. I know that I’ve been turbulent with Human+, but I vow to change that going forward. You have my word.
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Again, thank you so much for reading, and here’s to a transformative 2025.
-Alan