I too am a writer of self-help material. I am also a reader of self-help material from time to time. And I struggle because my interpretation of self-help is always different from the interpretation offered by people who criticise the genre. And I guess, like a person, self-help has its positive and negative qualities. I'm mostly removed from other people's work, just focused on doing my own, so I'm not really tapped into the broader self-help conversation, as in what's out there.
So naturally I assume that my work is the good stuff, not sure everyone would agree haha, but it's certainly a bias. However, despite my ignorance of the broader self-help conversation, I think you've brought up some legitimate concerns.
One way I get around some of these issues is to speak about my experiences. The assumption being that this is what I lived and believed, and any claim I make as to the legitimacy of my work is really just based on a "trust me bro." But what's good about this is that it's not claiming to be truth and nothing but the truth, but rather a human story. Something which is enmeshed in context, subjectivity, and nuance. Clear answers aren't common in the human experience, and I agree with your criticism that people shouldn't exactly be given solutions to problems. Such a black and white approach isn't natural. Life isn't problems and solutions. Life is all grey, and we draw the black and white out of it, making the problems and solutions as we go. And somewhere in the self-help conversation there needs to an acknowledgment of the grey, something that is often missing in the material.
It's easy to sell a solution. It's hard to sell an opinion (unless people trust you). It may just be that our little friend money has gone and corrupted education once again, leaning people toward selling problems and solutions as simple self-help advice rather than addressing the much more complicated mess that life can be.
I guess this is why the self-help community is despised by a good chuck of the philosophy community. Simple solution to life with none of the nuance.
Ah well, maybe we can be the change brother. Not just selling people solutions to problems, but rather furthering the dialogue on the complicated question of life, giving people new perspectives to deal with this thing we all share called life.
Yours is a really lovely perspective, Brady. Your work is absolutely delightful, know that! I always enjoy reading it :)
The reason I kind of started to question self-help was because I saw my shelf filled with books on the subject but didn’t really feel myself becoming much much richer in knowledge. When I started to dig a little deeper, I realized that others felt the same way.
I really think that’s the most authentic way to go about self-help: to give not imperatives, but nuggets for thought. Even though I am formally educated on the science of psychological well-being (and do possess some level of “authority” strictly from an academic perspective), I still avoid telling people “you have to do this” because it just feels inauthentic. Ultimately, I tell people the things that work for me and the things that science backs up and they can implement those things into their life if they wish.
I wholeheartedly agree with your conclusion. Something I enjoy just as much as how I can live a good life is having conversations with others on how they’re living their life. We’re all in this together!
Thanks for your response Alan! and the words of encouragement :) I love hearing positive things from my readers because at times it can feel so isolating publishing into the void that the internet can be. Feedback is always appreciated.
I don't know the actual word for it, but there is a concept that describes when people lose touch with the original meaning of their behaviour, and start doing the thing they're doing just for the sake of doing it, instead of their original intent. And I feel that happens a lot with self-help, people read self-help and just keep reading it, assuming that it's the reading that help them, when in fact they're supposed to apply the information in the book. A passive self-help consumer I suppose you say.
Well thanks for the productive conversation then. Let's further our fields with our contributions :)
It's a tricky conversation, isn't it?
I too am a writer of self-help material. I am also a reader of self-help material from time to time. And I struggle because my interpretation of self-help is always different from the interpretation offered by people who criticise the genre. And I guess, like a person, self-help has its positive and negative qualities. I'm mostly removed from other people's work, just focused on doing my own, so I'm not really tapped into the broader self-help conversation, as in what's out there.
So naturally I assume that my work is the good stuff, not sure everyone would agree haha, but it's certainly a bias. However, despite my ignorance of the broader self-help conversation, I think you've brought up some legitimate concerns.
One way I get around some of these issues is to speak about my experiences. The assumption being that this is what I lived and believed, and any claim I make as to the legitimacy of my work is really just based on a "trust me bro." But what's good about this is that it's not claiming to be truth and nothing but the truth, but rather a human story. Something which is enmeshed in context, subjectivity, and nuance. Clear answers aren't common in the human experience, and I agree with your criticism that people shouldn't exactly be given solutions to problems. Such a black and white approach isn't natural. Life isn't problems and solutions. Life is all grey, and we draw the black and white out of it, making the problems and solutions as we go. And somewhere in the self-help conversation there needs to an acknowledgment of the grey, something that is often missing in the material.
It's easy to sell a solution. It's hard to sell an opinion (unless people trust you). It may just be that our little friend money has gone and corrupted education once again, leaning people toward selling problems and solutions as simple self-help advice rather than addressing the much more complicated mess that life can be.
I guess this is why the self-help community is despised by a good chuck of the philosophy community. Simple solution to life with none of the nuance.
Ah well, maybe we can be the change brother. Not just selling people solutions to problems, but rather furthering the dialogue on the complicated question of life, giving people new perspectives to deal with this thing we all share called life.
Yours is a really lovely perspective, Brady. Your work is absolutely delightful, know that! I always enjoy reading it :)
The reason I kind of started to question self-help was because I saw my shelf filled with books on the subject but didn’t really feel myself becoming much much richer in knowledge. When I started to dig a little deeper, I realized that others felt the same way.
I really think that’s the most authentic way to go about self-help: to give not imperatives, but nuggets for thought. Even though I am formally educated on the science of psychological well-being (and do possess some level of “authority” strictly from an academic perspective), I still avoid telling people “you have to do this” because it just feels inauthentic. Ultimately, I tell people the things that work for me and the things that science backs up and they can implement those things into their life if they wish.
I wholeheartedly agree with your conclusion. Something I enjoy just as much as how I can live a good life is having conversations with others on how they’re living their life. We’re all in this together!
Thanks for your response Alan! and the words of encouragement :) I love hearing positive things from my readers because at times it can feel so isolating publishing into the void that the internet can be. Feedback is always appreciated.
I don't know the actual word for it, but there is a concept that describes when people lose touch with the original meaning of their behaviour, and start doing the thing they're doing just for the sake of doing it, instead of their original intent. And I feel that happens a lot with self-help, people read self-help and just keep reading it, assuming that it's the reading that help them, when in fact they're supposed to apply the information in the book. A passive self-help consumer I suppose you say.
Well thanks for the productive conversation then. Let's further our fields with our contributions :)
It’s an inner work. True help is to sell them they got all that they need.
I agree. Support and guidance, not answers.